Choose Who You Love.

Doubt & Anger are inevitable,
Forgiveness is mandatory,
Feelings are fragile,
Stress is daily, &
Love is a choice.

I was getting annoyed. All he seemed to think, and talk about was money and work. He seemed to miss the memo that I was not interested in talking about this for 40mins. So he carried on, & I got quieter.

I caught myself and tried to see the positive of this. He cares, he wants the best for me, & he knows how do this stuff.
Yet, I catch myself playing the What If game.
He was my first boyfriend, kiss, & lover. Could there have been more? Of course. Is there more? Certainly.
Yet, we chose each other. We chose to love each other once again within fifteen days after not seeing each other for two & half years. And got married three months later.

Then I ponder the idea of having a longer engagement, what I would have done differently at our wedding.
Sometimes I even question whether things can really last forever. 

Then I tend to move onto the idea that with time, I will be happier & not so stressed. Ha, there's a catch. I want to be a mom, and that involves a whole new kind of stress. So I realize life is pretty good again.

Fear is real,
Hardship is a piece,
Happiness comes,
Pride over comes us,
& Love is a choice.

I thought I was happy until someone asked me for the six straight month in a row. I answered, "of course!" but then I thought about it. Really thought about it.
What is Happy? 
Is it stress- free, worry-free, paradise where everyone goes around seeing rainbows?
Does it just happen and then leave? Or does it stay with us?

Hubby then asked me this a few days later, & looking into his eyes full of concern, I answered, "Of course."
That's when I knew what happy  was.